We require a Seasonal Director of Christmas Operations (aka Santa Claus)
MBA or similar in Christmas Administration including significant training in distribution and delivery systems and several centuries of Yuletide related experience.
Knowledge & Skills:
– Must be Jolly & Portly.
– Must be a good listener
– Must have a luscious silver beard
– Have a good strong lap.
– Good at making Lists & checking them twice
– Must know the difference between naughty and nice
– Available to work weekends.
– Must emit a loud, robust and heart-felt HO-HO-HO Merry Christmas every 30 seconds.
– Ability to consume ungodly amounts of milk, port, brandy, sherry and mince pies
– Must demonstrate ability to work in cramped and confined spaced such as chimneys, lift shafts, stoves, window ledges, and roof tops.
The Church is an equal opportunity employer. Applicants with red-noses, bunny tails, snakes for hair, pointed ears, and/or curly toed shoes as well as others are welcome.
No seriously, we are: we’re looking for a casual Santa for a couple of hours on Friday & Saturday Evenings, we’ll provide the suit and & sack. You’ll be in charge of bringing the Christmas Cheer to merry party goers.The position is well paid. Please email firstname.lastname@example.org for further details.